would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
