ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
