sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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