Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
