I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
