dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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