:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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