operation have a gay friend backfired
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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