Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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