did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
