Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How naked do you want me to be?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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