i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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