One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize