Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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