Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
ttyl tear gas
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
