I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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