if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
