it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
