What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
