shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
