is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
