I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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