Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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