I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
