I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
