you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
