I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
