flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
