You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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