Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
