I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
