Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
