That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
