If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
