Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
