Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
