Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
