That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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