I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
