So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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