Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Who died my cat blue again?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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