If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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