Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
