It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
