i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
