Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
