Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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