All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
