glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
