Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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