Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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