i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
