they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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