It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
