so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
