check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
