i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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