I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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