I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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